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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Attention Weirdos!!!!! Keep up the Good Work!!!!!

Recently, my intern, Ben, began a relationship with a girl who has a pink tail.  Really.  That is not code for anything. She just cosplays all day, every day as some imaginary pink tailed creature names Cheryl (which, coincidentally, is also her name). The thing shoots out of her pants and skirts in a way that makes you look twice.  And then you think, “Did I just look twice, at that thing? Should I tell her that furry laundry is stuck to he?”  I’ve learned to  just stay away from the backside of her most of the time and focus on everything else that is normal.  Because she is perfectly reasonable in all other respects, which is why she and Ben can’t possibly work out in the end (Sorry. Spoiler alert.  I was supposed to preface that with “spoiler alert.”  But seriously, Ben, you’re doomed.).

Regardless,  this is a moment of respect for the way too serious cosplayers.  A raised beer for those who commit to the lifestyle: the steam punks, the furries, the Wolverine side-burns guys, those brothers in the skin-tight spandex suits that are all one color and cover their faces too, the Elvis impersonators, the fat dudes dressed as a superheroes, the zombie hordes, and Cheryl.  Keep doing you.  Just don’t expect to bank loans anytime soon.

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Geek Definition of the Day

“VARIANT COVER” – A comic book produced with different covers for the express purpose of having you, the comic fan boy, boy multiple copies of the same thing.  Sometimes many covers will create a larger tapestry or work of art; others will be in 3-D; or have alternative concepts. We all love art or we […]

Lessons in Bad Media Franchising and Merchandising

1) Saw 8: The Reality Television Gameshow 2)Live action movie of Hungry, Hungry Hippos 3)The Tonight Show, starring Chewbacca 4) Deadpool vs. Punisher: The Musical 5) The Human Centipede sleeping bag 6) C-Span Live Action Role Playing Group 7) The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre ride at Six Flags Over Texas 8) Your Parents Basement is Always […]

Where is Our Modern Barney Miller?

The single camera glory that was Barney Miller can probably never be reproduced.  There’s heavy debate in the office whether it should be or not. It was essentially a 22-minute, 3-act play with minimal characters and only one set (after Season One that also featured Barney’s dining room at home).  The thing is, the writing […]

Non-John Hughes High School Movies from the ’80s

Yep. Most of the high school biggies were our man, Hughes. But if you can name the 1980s high school movie quotes listed below, your might have been paying attention to something else in ’88 other than the MTV Beach House and that cute girl with freckles in your 11th grade Chemistry class. 5)”Last night, […]

Mark Your Calendar, Nerds!!!

This Weekend is legendary Indy 500.  Please don’t think geekdom is limited to cosplay and app programming.  Oh no, my friends. Two years ago our Mid-West correspondent, Billy D, and I watched those car dorks jump a humongous Hot Wheels truck  over a bunch of school busses and twice as many drunks while Florence Henderson […]

Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…