Get updates by email:

The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Thawed in the Future. But Only if You’ve got a Y Chromosome

Man out of time is one of our classic American tropes.  Whether you’re Rip Van Winkle or Encino Man, you’re still a guy who’s gotta learn the ways of the new world; then use a bunch of hands-on know-how from the past to fix everything we’ll screwed up in the future.  Buck Rogers, Austin Powers, even Taylor from Planet of the Apes.

The stakes are a bit different than traveling to the past, because that’s inherently more selfish.  No judgement. But action I accomplished in the past would  ultimately be to cover my own big ass in the present. It’s all quite confusing.  However, going to the future seems to always prove to be magnanimous and beneficial.

The thing that stands out most of all about jumping to the future is that there aren’t a lot of ladies using the old Einstein-Rosen Bridge or getting flash frozen for future generations to discover.  In fact, Maya Rudolph’s “Rita” from Idiocracy is the only one we can think of, and she was essentially a sidekick for the purpose of breeding. Yikes!!!  So take this as a challenge, one dorky lady who reads this! Get cracking on some forward time travel.  C’mon? Stallone made it work in Demolition Man, maybe Sandra Bullock can reprise her role and stop him from continuing to make sequels of his own popular franchises.  The people neither need, nor want, a Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot! trilogy, Ms. Bullock. Although Nighthawks 2 would be bad ass, Sandy, if you could convince Billy Dee Williams to be in it!!

 

 

Leave a Reply

Geek Definition of the Day

“VARIANT COVER” – A comic book produced with different covers for the express purpose of having you, the comic fan boy, boy multiple copies of the same thing.  Sometimes many covers will create a larger tapestry or work of art; others will be in 3-D; or have alternative concepts. We all love art or we […]

Lessons in Bad Media Franchising and Merchandising

1) Saw 8: The Reality Television Gameshow 2)Live action movie of Hungry, Hungry Hippos 3)The Tonight Show, starring Chewbacca 4) Deadpool vs. Punisher: The Musical 5) The Human Centipede sleeping bag 6) C-Span Live Action Role Playing Group 7) The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre ride at Six Flags Over Texas 8) Your Parents Basement is Always […]

Where is Our Modern Barney Miller?

The single camera glory that was Barney Miller can probably never be reproduced.  There’s heavy debate in the office whether it should be or not. It was essentially a 22-minute, 3-act play with minimal characters and only one set (after Season One that also featured Barney’s dining room at home).  The thing is, the writing […]

Non-John Hughes High School Movies from the ’80s

Yep. Most of the high school biggies were our man, Hughes. But if you can name the 1980s high school movie quotes listed below, your might have been paying attention to something else in ’88 other than the MTV Beach House and that cute girl with freckles in your 11th grade Chemistry class. 5)”Last night, […]

Mark Your Calendar, Nerds!!!

This Weekend is legendary Indy 500.  Please don’t think geekdom is limited to cosplay and app programming.  Oh no, my friends. Two years ago our Mid-West correspondent, Billy D, and I watched those car dorks jump a humongous Hot Wheels truck  over a bunch of school busses and twice as many drunks while Florence Henderson […]

Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…