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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Hey Universe! Where are Our TV Movies?

Okay, so on Friday beer o’clock started in our office a bit earlier than social norms would deem acceptable.  That’s not the point.  The point is we were yelling at each other about how much we all miss the Sunday night event movies of our collective youths.  The Day After, even that live action Fail Safe George Clooney did a while back, The Stand, Brian’s Song… freakin’ Brian’s Song!!!!  Anyway what if the pens in Hollywood stopped making miserably failing high concept shows and focused on TV Movies.  With the bank Lost, 24, and Fringe make it’s not going to happen.

But what if it did?

My intern, Ben would finally have resolution to what the Hell Hurly and that girl from Bend it Like Beckham were doing rounding up time displaced ghost prisoners from Alcatraz. I wouldn’t be so bent out of shape about that mess of a show, Last Resort (I didn’t really want conspiracies, I just wanted a more serious Gilligan’s Island and that drug dealer to find a shirt in his size).  Who knows how the folks in Terra Nova would have made out if they could have just focused on battling dinosaurs and not had to worry about some contrived B-plot about crazed Encino-men living in the jungle with a mysterious agenda?  What about poor, poor Flashforward?  One two-hour movie could have had a tidy beginning and ending while avoiding all of those “we’ll be on the air forever” dangling plot threads that littered my TV for months.

Nothing got resolved during our Friday happy hours. And I don’t think TV will get sorted out any time soon, but damn if it isn’t fun to fix other people’s jobs for them while drunkenly ignoring our own.

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Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…