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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Gift Ideas for Your Little Monsters

My wife, Red, and I have different approaches to gift shopping for children.  She likes her gifts to be symbolic in order to strengthen her bond with the child and somewhat educational in an attempt to spark wonderous curiousity. Me, I like to horrify the kid’s parents.

The  Leatherface action figure from Texas Chainsaw Massacre – Perfect for kids of all ages.  Your family will delight in the hours spent hacking Smurf Village to bloody shreds.

The Mad Men playset – This little gem enforces gender roles while espousing the health benefits of smoking.

The Love Boat series of toys – Crew members include a bartender, a womanizer, and a future Congressman. Charo toy sold separately.

The Fargo snowglobe features Sheriff Marge Gunderson confronting Grimsrud as he disposes of a body in a woodchipper. A quick shake of the globe and a spray of blood fills the scene. Perfect for and playroom or bookshelf.

  • Tyler

    hey mr pierce, writing this from the prout library, see you in a few weeks!!!!!!

  • Himjill

    Did I hear “Boogie Nights” action figures w/ kung foo grip?

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Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…