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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Thursday, May 25, 2017

How Did Fonzie Avoid STDs?

Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother, ably played by Doogie Howser, M.D., may be the funniest womanizer on television, but he sure isn’t the first.  He has learned a thing or two from the men who paved the way one foxy chick at a time (except for Fonzie who liked twins).

Dr. Adam Bricker (“Doc”)

The Love Boat

Notable Conquests: If she was famous in the ‘70s, she cameoed on The Boat and starred in Doc’s cabin.

What Barney Learned: Quantity trumps quality. Why tie yourself down to one lady when next week the boat will be filled a whole new batch.

Our Experts Say: “He’s an improbable combination of white short-shorts and medical double entendres.”

 

Dan Fielding

Night Court

Notable Conquests: Hookers, hookers, hookers

What Barney Learned: How to suit up.  Dan is always dressed impeccably.

Our Experts Say: “Dan Fielding was sit-com gold! He was the proto Barney Stinson; a horn dog misunderstood by his monogamous peers.”

 

Larry Dallas

Three’s Company

Notable Conquests: Greedy Gretchen and Lana Do you Wanna

What Barney Learned: The thrill of the chase…and …His chest hair and medallion are …wait for it…epic!

Our Experts Say: “I found it really hard to tell if Larry was actually getting any. That said, his every waking thought was about the hunt.  That’s gotta count for something.” 

 

Arthur Fonzarelli (“The Fonz”)

Happy Days

Notable Conquests: Paula Petralunga, The Drinkwater twins, Pinky Tuscadero

What Barney Learned: Bro Code. Fonzie was always playing wingman for Ritchie; they even double dated with Laverne and Shirley.

Our Experts Say: “One of television’s greatest mysteries is how Fonzie avoided getting STDs.”

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Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…