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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Sweden Disavows The Swedish Chef

Jonas Hafstrom, Swedish Ambassador to the U.S. of A., was quoted last month by the Washington Examiner as saying, “Previously Nordic chefs, well at least Swedish chefs, were known only as a puppet character. But our chefs are no longer a laughing matter.”

Ambassador Hafsrom might be right. A quick street poling around the city of Providence for most famous chef in the world yeilded the following results:

#1 The Swedish Chef

#2 “The bald guy from Top Chef”

#3 “That angry Brisitsh guy”

#4 Chef Boyardee

#5 “Is Julia Child still alive?”

The Swedish Chef is not only a recognizable symbol of Sweden but obviously (at least in Providence) also of the culinary community.  That being said, our intern, Ben, looked up “Bork ditty bork.” As it turns out, it ain’t Swedish. It’s drunken gibberish. What if this guy is just a rummy with a speech impediment and bad eyesight?  What if he’s not even a chef? Think about it. He tends to use high explosives in the kitchen and often attempts to cook live animals without any preparation. Also his knife work is more hack/slash than mince/dice. 

Although he’s comedy gold, I think it’s a good thing the Sweds are finally outing this “chef” after 30 years of trying to feed the public live chickens and singing pumpkin pies.

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Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…