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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

If Zombies are Wrong, the Borg Want to be Right!

Ol’ Doc Connell says I’m wasting my time worrying about zombies.  He claims now that we have zombie sitcoms, zombie 5k’s, and zombie convenience store snacks we have nothing to fear from the undead other than market saturation.

Instead, Doc insists we should be concerned about the zombies of the future – androids.  Now, just because we MIGHT have gotten a cease and desist letter for rightfully asserting that Betty White MIGHT be a age-defying Terminator, doesn’t mean it’s not a daily topic of conversation in our office.  Androids, particularly when shaped like former governors are elderly comedians are a menace, no doubt.  Doc, however, is haunted by the darkest android of all -Vicki from Small Wonder.

Ha! No. Joke.  Ol’ Doc Connell is actually terrified of  The Borg, the soul sucking alien, robot, human assimilation Frankensteins from Star Trek: The Next Generation that simply want to make more Borg. I started to explain to Doc that Borg are technically cyborgs, but he’s not a real doctor, so I stopped and let him continue being frightened.

He’s got a point, though.  Human parts used by the Borg are dead, but they’re retrofitted with lasers, spinny things, and usually a fashionable metal hat of some kind. That makes them android zombies. It’s like the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup or my nightmares. Two horrifying things that are great together.  Welcome to the future of cross promotional paranoia!

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Where is Our Modern Barney Miller?

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Non-John Hughes High School Movies from the ’80s

Yep. Most of the high school biggies were our man, Hughes. But if you can name the 1980s high school movie quotes listed below, your might have been paying attention to something else in ’88 other than the MTV Beach House and that cute girl with freckles in your 11th grade Chemistry class. 5)”Last night, […]

Mark Your Calendar, Nerds!!!

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Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…