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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Friday, June 23, 2017

Liz Lemon, Stop Stealing My Life: A Personal Appeal

As we’ve been known to note, we’re obsessed with Liz Lemon from 30 Rock.  But it seems we’re not alone.  Thanks to our publishing letters and haiku from “Lemon Squeezer” about his creepy crush, we’re getting more mail than ever regarding the spectacled princess of pop culture.  Our own Bella La Lovely has even stepped forward during, what we assume was, a night of drinking coupled with a cable outage.

To whoever is in charge,

Long before Liz Lemon was a twinkle in Tina Fey’s eye, I was wearing bathing suites as underwear substitutes during laundry lulls, enjoying a love for hard cheeses, and drinking white wine/Sprite/ice combos (what Liz Lemon calls “funky juice”). Although I don’t keep a gallon of funky juice next to my toilet, the parallels between Liz Lemon’s and my life are uncanny and can no longer be ignored.

I don’t know how or why, but the character of Liz Lemon has been created as a parody of my life. The cagey writers on 30 Rock have somehow implanted a spy to garner the most intimate details of my life and have used my personal dysfunction as a basis for Lemon’s neuroses.

Under other circumstances, a character patterned after one’s life may be seen as a compliment; however, in this situation, Liz Lemon’s insanity shines an ignorable light on the madness that is my life.

Therefore, it is with great sincerity and self-awareness that I make a plea to the 30 Rock writing staff; please stop stealing my life. With humility I admit that it would be easier for me to rationalize my maladaptive behavior without Liz Lemon as a mirror to my lunacy.

By the way, for all of you out there who are interested in trying the combination of white wine, Sprite and ice, a lovely boxed wine makes a fabulous, economical funky juice. I recommend Franzia, which has an easy-to-use spout, stores nicely in any refrigerator, and remains fresh for up to 6 weeks.

Yours in … Why are you making me write this in letter form?… Aww, forget it,

Bella La Lovely

One response to “Liz Lemon, Stop Stealing My Life: A Personal Appeal”

  1. Splenahan says:

    I have the same problem with Jack. He increasingly reminds me of the insanity of my lifestyle,; the ever present scotch, the perfectly coiffed head suit, the arrogance, the willingness to solve problems with money. I think I should sue for copyright infringement, and since I am in the bubble, I will win.

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Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…