Ol’ Doc Connell says I’m wasting my time worrying about zombies. He claims now that we have zombie sitcoms, zombie 5k’s, and zombie convenience store snacks we have nothing to fear from the undead other than market saturation.
Instead, Doc insists we should be concerned about the zombies of the future – androids. Now, just because we MIGHT have gotten a cease and desist letter for rightfully asserting that Betty White MIGHT be a age-defying Terminator, doesn’t mean it’s not a daily topic of conversation in our office. Androids, particularly when shaped like former governors are elderly comedians are a menace, no doubt. Doc, however, is haunted by the darkest android of all -Vicki from Small Wonder.
Ha! No. Joke. Ol’ Doc Connell is actually terrified of The Borg, the soul sucking alien, robot, human assimilation Frankensteins from Star Trek: The Next Generation that simply want to make more Borg. I started to explain to Doc that Borg are technically cyborgs, but he’s not a real doctor, so I stopped and let him continue being frightened.
He’s got a point, though. Human parts used by the Borg are dead, but they’re retrofitted with lasers, spinny things, and usually a fashionable metal hat of some kind. That makes them android zombies. It’s like the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup or my nightmares. Two horrifying things that are great together. Welcome to the future of cross promotional paranoia!