If Zombies Ate Chuck Bass, You’d have to Admit that You Secretly Watch Gossip Girl
Sons and daughters of Nerd-dom, I type this as The CW network announces The Awakening, a show from the production house responsible for Ugly Betty about a pair of zombie fighting sisters. Now, I’m all for sisters fighting zombies – in fact, I’d encourage family unity during the Zombpocalypse. Which is why we must now unite under the collective banner of our own dorkiness.
Let me remind you that while we have been highly caffeinated in our parents’ basements patching our over worn cosplay costumes and writing Firefly fan-fiction, Broadway is currently sucking the life from Spider-Man. Hollywood has over-run Comic-Con. Entourage has reminded the cool kids who Aquaman is. Stephenie Meyer has humanized vampires – fine, no on cares about sissy vampires – but then she shaved the chests of our wolf-men! Our wolf-men! If we let The CW take our zombies we’ll have nothing left!
Now, we all enjoyed what AMC did with The Walking Dead this fall as television’s first zombie show (I’ve got the bite marks to prove it. Ok. Kind of gross. Sorry.), but The CW is looking to Gossip Girl this thing and manipulate our zombies into selling Justin Bieber downloads and Subway sandwiches. This cannot stand unaddressed.
Denis Leary once joked that if the meek should truly inherit the Earth, it wouldn’t matter because … well, “they’re a bunch of meeks. We’ll kick their asses and take it back.” I say to you, in all sincerity, if the meek should inherit the zombies, who will stop them from eating us?
I can’t believe I just made a Gossip Girl joke. Please disregard all of the above.blog comments powered by Disqus
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Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.
MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.
TUESDAY – Television. Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.
WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.
THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.
FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics. Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…