I understand that fans often write letters to fictional characters. I understand that Tina Fey’s alter ego, Liz Lemon, from 30 Rock, has a big following (including everyone in our offices), meaning she probably gets all manner of weirdness written to and about her. What I don’t understand is why this one guy keeps sending his Liz Lemon love letters to us.
Regardless, LEMON SQUEEZER’s unrequited musings of devotion are strange enough to print on this whacko site; we just hope Lemon appreciates his creepiness like we do. Nerds!
“The Woman and the Cheese”
You love that night cheese
In spite of Meat Cat’s warnings
Oh Cheesy Blasters!
I too wear a bathing suit on laundry day. Mine has a walrus stenciled on the front in baby blue. You strike me as a woman who favors the utility of a one-piece over the showiness of a bikini. Not to say that your status doesn’t warrant a power tankini. Maybe I’m dating myself, but it was a good look for a while and you could definitely do it justice.
When you get this please know I have interests beyond swimwear, including pizza eating.
You are the head writer of my heart.
L is for “Liz-ard,” a nickname that should have caught on.
E is for eating.
M is for the monkeys that you have working for you.
O is for optics – keep the glasses on.
N is for the nerds I must battle to win you.