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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Biggest Jerks from ’80s Movies

Growing up in the ’80s meant two things: knowing all the words to Home Sweet Home, and hating these guys-

The Conniver

The Conniver

The Bully

The Bully

But who is the bigger jackwagon?  We’ll give you the Tale of the Tape so you can make your own decision.

Actor, William Atherton has a weasel factor of  9 (incidentally, an actual weasel only hits a high 7).  He played some of the most loathsome minor antagonists of a generation, always distracting or complicating the lives of our heroes so they were tempted to lose focus on the actual bad guy.

william atherton

As EPA agent, Walter Peck he demanded that the Ghostbusters’ containment device be shut down.  “What is the ‘magic word’ Mr. Venkman?”

In Real Genius (an often overlooked classic), his Professor Hathaway was secretly scheming to sell Val Kilmer’s laser research to the military.

Bonnie Bedelia wouldn’t have had a purpose in Die Hard 2: Die Harder (I love writing that) if they hadn’t brought back the character of Richard Thornburg to stick a monkey in her wrench.

William Zabka might be able to order a pizza without spit in it these days, but in the ’80s passive aggressive victories were the only ones dorks could get with this jerk keeping us down!  This essential teenage villain made an art out of  bullying for most of our childhood.

chas

As Chas in Back to School he made life Hell for Rodney Dangerfield’s kid as well as a chemically imbalanced Robert Downey Jr.

He played the misogynistic boyfriend, Greg Tolan in Just One of the Guys.  This forced his super smart girlfriend to pretend to be a dude just to get some respect.

And finally – Johnny “I swept the leg on a kid who was half my size” Lawrence from the Karate Kid.  That guy deserves either his own article or a punch in the mouth.

We understand this is a tough bought, but we trust you, our one reader, to break the tie in our office.  Feel free to provide other contenders from ’80s movies who might qualify as a humongous jackass.

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  • WHEN ROAD-TRIPPING THIS SUMMER BE SURE TO VISIT THESE DAILYJIM ENDORSED MUSEUM EXPERIENCES

  • The Burt Reynolds and Friends Museum – Jupiter, Florida – The Bandit’s personal collection of movie and sports memorabilia including the freakin’ canoe from Deliverance! Yikes!

  • The Museum of the American Carnival – Gibsonton , Florida – That’s right! The carnies have their own museum! Or do they?

  • Monroeville Zombies: Museum, Gallery, and Attraction – Monroeville , Pennsylvania – Smack in the middle of the Monroeville Mall, where Romero shot the original Dawn of the Dead.

  • The Starfleet Museum – San Francisco , What will no longer be California – Set to open in 2213, after Starfleet takes over the universe thereby supplying Captain James T. Kirk with no limit of seducible green skinned beauties. Really? Really? starfleet-museum.org