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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Friday, April 20, 2018

Summer in New York Means Pythons, Englishmen Eating Hot Dogs, and all Manner of Bandits

As usual New York was alight with weirdness this past week.   A python menaced the Bronx; a guy in Brooklyn survived getting hit in the head by a bolt of lightning; and Mayor Bloomberg treated British Prime Minister, David Cameron to a dirty water dog he bought from an cranky street vendor.  Business as usual.

However, in the wake of the last month’s Cat Woman Bandit (who remains at large after robbing fancy lady stores with nothing but a kitty cat mask and a note), the number of themed villains seems to be on the rise in the big city (just like in the comics, before some criminal mastermind brings them all together in a Legion of Doom type scenario).  There’s the Oxygen-Toting Robber, the Babe Bandit, and the Bouquet Bandit (who apparently is quite polite).  None with the style or eloquence of the Cat Woman; one, sadly, died and the other two are in custody.  The only guy who looks likely to make a splash in New York crime is (an this should be no surprise) Darth Vader, who has moved from hassling Princess Leia on the Six Train to holding up banks on Long Island (also, no surprise).

It would be easy for Lex Luthor or Avon Barksdale to come in and start unionizing the mutts into a evil syndicate, but deep down I’d like to see another bandit tackle The Big Apple.


4 responses to “Summer in New York Means Pythons, Englishmen Eating Hot Dogs, and all Manner of Bandits”

  1. Red says:

    What's a diablo sandwich and I'll get you an answer?

  2. Red says:

    What’s a diablo sandwich and I’ll get you an answer?

  3. piercedotcom says:

    Everything bagel with lox and a smear of cream cheese.

  4. steve says:

    as Buford T. Justice would say “Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I'm in a god-damn hurry”. What's the Long Island equivalent of a diablo sandwich?

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