Because You Demanded It: More Hollywood Old Timers Who Can Still Break Your Nose
Last week we decided to rank 10 Hollywood Senior Citizens Who Could Beat You in a Fight based on this demanding criteria: “Who, over the age of 65, is still capable of walking into your house on Thanksgiving, punching you in the face, then walking out, scot-free, with either a delicious drumstick or your sister’s phone number?”
The response to this has been crazy, mostly through e-mail, texts, and the people of Providence yelling the names of old men at my intern, Ben. We, in the thedailyjim.com offices, have been taking a look at some of the overlooked elderly who weren’t considered for our first Top Ten. The list is pretty intimidating. When possible, we added quotes from you, the people, defending your graying champions. Here we go!
10. Lee MajorsBorn: 1939 Arguably toughest role: Colonel Steve Austin in The Six-Million Dollar Man
1d10tch1ld says: “The Fall Guy will mess you up! He’s f-ing bionic. Now, leave Betty White alone!” Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Tom Berenger
9. Harrison Ford
Born: 1942 Arguably toughest role: Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back
Alqawen says: “HARRISON FORD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” Sizod agrees: “Harrison Ford, good one! 68yr old. Wow! He tricks us by wearing his pants a lot lower than other gentleman his age.” Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Kurt Russell * NOTE: Our original omission of Dr. Jones was based on his recent exploits; lately he doesn’t kick your ass until you kidnap someone in his family.*
8. Louis Gossett Jr. Born: 1936 Arguably toughest role: Sergeant Emil Foley in An Officer and a Gentleman (No one better mention Iron Eagle)
Our experts say: “Yeah… that one’s on us. Lou Gossett might have only one or two punches left in him, but I don’t want ‘em used on me. I saw Diggstown just last week!”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Denzel Washington if we can get another Man on Fire(2004).
7. Scott Glenn
Born: 1941 Arguably toughest role: Creasy in the original Man on Fire (1987)
Our experts say: “Scott Glenn falls into that Sam Elliot model. He’s pretty slight, but fast – even is laugh is tough.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Willem Defoe
6. Charles Napier
Born: 1936 Arguably toughest role: Marshall Murdock in Rambo: First Blood Part II
The guy who yelled at Ben on Fulton Street says: “Napier, Charles. Look him up, Kitty Cat!”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: David Keith (look him up, Kitty Cat!)
5. John Amos
Born: 1939 Arguably toughest role: James Evans Sr. on Good Times
TVsmemory says: ” Remember the dad from Good Times, he kicked the stuffing out of Bruce Willis in Die Hard 2, until he got sucked into that airplane engine.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: John Goodman
4. Harvey Keitel
Born: 1939 Arguably toughest role: The Bad Lieutenant
Our experts say: “We just never think of him as THAT old.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Dennis Quiad (guy’s already 56)
3. Gene Hackman
Born: 1930 Arguably toughest role: Little Bill Daggett in Unforgiven
LZA, who cornered me at a child’s birthday party, says: “Your little list is flawed. Gene Hackman would break your neck right here in front of the kids.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Dennis Haysbert
2. Kirk Douglas
Born: 1916 Arguably toughest role: Living to be 94 without laying down and dying. “Rome has come to us.”
Sizod says: “Kirk Douglas, he is 7000 years old and can’t be killed” Our experts say: “This one gets filed under “Give Credit Where credit is Due!”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: At this point the guy has created himself a new category. But we’re all kind of hoping Ed Harris steps up.
1. Gary Busey
Born: 1944 Arguably toughest role: Mr. Joshua in Lethal Weapon
Laura says: “How about Gary Busey? He may not not the strongest, but he is Bulletproof and would kick your ass. ButtHorn!” Our experts say: “Crazy goes a long way. Crazy and old gets you the #1 spot”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Steven Seagal
Facebook comments:
-
Madtiming
-
Beerfan23
-
The House
-
The House
This is Why Television Doesn’t Have a Guidance Department
To commemorate the beginning of the school year, we at thedailyjim.com have looked into our collective past to see how lack of education hasn’t affected some of our favorite television characters one bit.
Charles “Pa” Ingalls had little formal education, but he sure could play that fiddle. In fact less classroom time meant he could learn [...]
I Learned Spanish Just to try to Understand Mexican TV
There has been talk for years about the escalating craziness of Japanese television. People get injured on a regular basis, there are a ton of zany costumes, everything happens at lightning pace, and anyone who knows what’s going on can’t stop laughing long enough to explain it to the viewer. All valid statements. Now add [...]
Demon Dogs! Thundarr the Barbarian Fights for Respect Among Geeks
I am a geek. You, our one fan, are a geek. Wear that badge boldly in this Golden Age of Dorkiness! That being said – and with all respect, some people geek out on stuff I forgot even existed!
What do you get when you simmer a stew out of pop culture ingredients like Dungeons & [...]
Where’s Lex Luthor When We Need Him?
Frequent thedailyjim.com contributor, Billy D. called late-night, as he sometimes does. “Duke (I have no idea why he calls me that, but he always does.)! Duke, we’ve got a supervillain problem. Do you think that cat lady thief in New York City and that dude who dresses as Darth Vader to rob banks have the [...]
From Flintstones to Fight Club: Versions of the Men’s Social Club
As evidenced by The Flintstones, guys have always needed a place to get away from the pressures of work and family, to drink a big mug of cactus juice, play a little rocknasta with Sam Slagheap and the boys while plotting the demise of their mothers-in-law. Fred and Barney favored the Loyal Order of Water [...]
Dailies
“My lack of education didn’t hurt me none, ’cause I can read the writing on the wall” – Paul Simon ‘Kodachrome’
Gentleman Jim
-
WISE WORDS FROM MOVIES ON THE VALUE OF EDUCATION
-
“Things sure have changed since we got kicked out of high school.” – Johnny Ramone from ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll High School’
-
“I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy.” – Charles De Mar from ‘Better Off Dead’
-
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” – Dean Vernon Wormer from ‘Animal House’
-
“Saturday, March 24,1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did ‘was’ wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who [...]