Get updates by email:

The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Friday, April 20, 2018

Because You Demanded It: More Hollywood Old Timers Who Can Still Break Your Nose

Last week we decided to rank 10 Hollywood Senior Citizens Who Could Beat You in a Fight based on this demanding criteria: “Who, over the age of 65, is still capable of walking into your house on Thanksgiving, punching you in the face, then walking out, scot-free, with either a delicious drumstick or your sister’s phone number?

The response to this has been crazy, mostly through e-mail, texts, and the people of Providence yelling the names of old men at my intern, Ben.  We, in the offices, have been taking a look at some of the overlooked elderly who weren’t considered for our first Top Ten.  The list is pretty intimidating.  When possible, we added quotes from you, the people, defending your graying champions.  Here we go!

10.  Lee Majors
Born: 1939
Arguably toughest role: Colonel Steve Austin in The Six-Million Dollar Man
1d10tch1ld says:  “The Fall Guy will mess you up!  He’s f-ing bionic.  Now, leave Betty White alone!”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Tom Berenger
Lee Majors
9.  Harrison Ford
Born: 1942
Arguably toughest role: Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back
Alqawen says:  “HARRISON FORD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?”
Sizod agrees: “Harrison Ford, good one! 68yr old. Wow! He tricks us by wearing his pants a lot lower than other gentleman his age.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Kurt Russell
* NOTE: Our original omission of Dr. Jones was based on his recent exploits; lately he doesn’t kick your ass until you kidnap someone in his family.*
harrison ford 300508
8.  Louis Gossett Jr.
Born: 1936
Arguably toughest role: Sergeant Emil Foley in An Officer and a Gentleman (No one better mention Iron Eagle)
Our experts say:  “Yeah… that one’s on us.  Lou Gossett  might have only one or two punches left in him, but I don’t want ’em used on me. I saw Diggstown just last week!”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Denzel Washington if we can get another Man on Fire(2004).
7.  Scott Glenn
Born: 1941
Arguably toughest role: Creasy in the original Man on Fire (1987)
Our experts say:  “Scott Glenn falls into that Sam Elliot model.  He’s pretty slight, but fast – even is laugh is tough.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Willem Defoe
6.  Charles Napier
Born: 1936
Arguably toughest role: Marshall Murdock in Rambo: First Blood Part II
The guy who yelled at Ben on Fulton Street says:  “Napier, Charles.  Look him up, Kitty Cat!”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: David Keith (look him up, Kitty Cat!)
charles napier
5. John Amos
Born: 1939
Arguably toughest role: James Evans Sr. on Good Times
TVsmemory says: ” Remember the dad from Good Times, he kicked the stuffing out of Bruce Willis in Die Hard 2, until he got sucked into that airplane engine.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: John Goodman
john amos
4. Harvey Keitel
Born: 1939
Arguably toughest role: The Bad Lieutenant
Our experts say: “We just never think of him as THAT old.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Dennis Quiad (guy’s already 56)
3. Gene Hackman
Born: 1930
Arguably toughest role: Little Bill Daggett in Unforgiven
LZA, who cornered me at a child’s birthday party, says: “Your little list is flawed.  Gene Hackman would break your neck right here in front of the kids.”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Dennis Haysbert
2. Kirk Douglas
Born: 1916
Arguably toughest role: Living to be 94 without laying down and dying.  “Rome has come to us.”
Sizod says: “Kirk Douglas, he is 7000 years old and can’t be killed”
Our experts say: “This one gets filed under “Give Credit Where credit is Due!”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: At this point the guy has created himself a new category.  But we’re all kind of hoping Ed Harris steps up.
1. Gary Busey
Born: 1944
Arguably toughest role: Mr. Joshua in Lethal Weapon
Laura says: “How about Gary Busey? He may not not the strongest, but he is Bulletproof and would kick your ass. ButtHorn!”
Our experts say: “Crazy goes a long way.  Crazy and old gets you the #1 spot”
Guy we’re hoping will follow in his footsteps: Steven Seagal

4 responses to “Because You Demanded It: More Hollywood Old Timers Who Can Still Break Your Nose”

  1. The House says:

    The Guy was Popeye Doyle and an older Brill Lyle from Enemy of The State.

  2. The House says:

    The Guy was Popeye Doyle and an older Brill Lyle from Enemy of The State.

  3. Beerfan23 says:

    Gene Hackman, really?

  4. Madtiming says:

    Probably one of the only times these D-list and A-list star will be referenced in the same article

Geek Definition of the Day

“VARIANT COVER” – A comic book produced with different covers for the express purpose of having you, the comic fan boy, boy multiple copies of the same thing.  Sometimes many covers will create a larger tapestry or work of art; others will be in 3-D; or have alternative concepts. We all love art or we […]

Lessons in Bad Media Franchising and Merchandising

1) Saw 8: The Reality Television Gameshow 2)Live action movie of Hungry, Hungry Hippos 3)The Tonight Show, starring Chewbacca 4) Deadpool vs. Punisher: The Musical 5) The Human Centipede sleeping bag 6) C-Span Live Action Role Playing Group 7) The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre ride at Six Flags Over Texas 8) Your Parents Basement is Always […]

Where is Our Modern Barney Miller?

The single camera glory that was Barney Miller can probably never be reproduced.  There’s heavy debate in the office whether it should be or not. It was essentially a 22-minute, 3-act play with minimal characters and only one set (after Season One that also featured Barney’s dining room at home).  The thing is, the writing […]

Non-John Hughes High School Movies from the ’80s

Yep. Most of the high school biggies were our man, Hughes. But if you can name the 1980s high school movie quotes listed below, your might have been paying attention to something else in ’88 other than the MTV Beach House and that cute girl with freckles in your 11th grade Chemistry class. 5)”Last night, […]

Mark Your Calendar, Nerds!!!

This Weekend is legendary Indy 500.  Please don’t think geekdom is limited to cosplay and app programming.  Oh no, my friends. Two years ago our Mid-West correspondent, Billy D, and I watched those car dorks jump a humongous Hot Wheels truck  over a bunch of school busses and twice as many drunks while Florence Henderson […]


Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…