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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Robots are Now Authorized to Sell Wine to Pennsylvanians

Welcome to the future.

In a diabolical play to gain further control over humans, robots are now selling us booze.  It’s only a few days away from the launch of the new iPhone4, and the robots aren’t taking any chances.  They want us nice and liquored up so we wait in line to buy it.  The machines won their petition to the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board; which means robot controlled kiosks filled with wine, and accessed by your driver’s license, will start appearing in supermarkets across PA this summer.

My bet is that ageless comedy Terminator, Betty White (she’s been the same age for like 25 years -obviously a T-100) will somehow reassure us that this is in no way a robot conspiracy through her mastery of humor and old lady cuteness.

All this time I’ve been worried about the eventuality of zombies, or aliens, or apes rising to power, and the damn robots get their liquor license first.  It’s a funny world … at least it is now; wait until they figure out that Terminator technology then begin to enslave us for their own amusement … anyway …  Here’s a pretty intelligent overview of the story from CBS’ Dayton Ohio affiliate

Back in the old days, you could buy your booze from a Stormtrooper.

Thanks to Terminator -style, booze dispensing robots, this Stormtrooper could lose his job.

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Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…