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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Top Ten Ways to Make the Upcoming Fraggle Rock Movie “Edgy”

This Monday, on his blog, screenwriter and Hoodwinked director, Cory Edwards posted some news about his script for the Fraggle Rock movie.  He wrote, “The only overall note coming from the studio is this: ‘Not edgy enough.'” (Read the post in its entirety here).

Mr. Edwards goes on to theorize that he will most likely be replaced on the project because of his unwillingness to alter Fraggle Rock without clear definition of the word “edgy.”

While this deserves reflective comment regarding the state of film money making and the leeching of any possible nostalgia from our collective youths for profit, there are writers working on that response right now.  Thedailyjim, on the other hand, is going to lean into this situation by giving you:

The Top Ten Ways to Make Fraggle Rock “Edgy”

10. Change name from “Fraggles” to “C.H.U.D.”

9.   Make a couple of those Doozers gay.

8.   Marjory, the Trash Heap is murdered, but not before sharing her dark secret.

7.   Replace Cantus and his minstrels with the Insane Clown Posse.

6.   Wander McMooch sets up a Thunderdome in Fraggle Rock.

5.   It is revealed in the opening sequence that Boober has been stockpiling weapons for   the inevitable Doozer uprising.

4.   Give the movie a title that will appeal to the 18-24 “urban demographic” like, Fraggle Rock: Grab a 40oz. and Let the Ass Kicking Begin.

3.   Doc and other “Silly Creatures” are welcomed warmly into Fraggle Rock, only to bring disease and death.

2.   Use old plot lines from HBO’s The Wire as source material.

1.   One Fraggle has 24 hours to save Fraggle Rock any way he can. “My name is Gobo, and today is the longest day of my life.”

fraggles

2 responses to “Top Ten Ways to Make the Upcoming Fraggle Rock Movie “Edgy””

  1. Himjill says:

    3 ring cage match including the Muppets from the show and Sesame Street Crew to the underlying theme of West Side Story

  2. Himjill says:

    3 ring cage match including the Muppets from the show and Sesame Street Crew to the underlying theme of West Side Story

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Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…