Get updates by email:

The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Friday, October 20, 2017

Archive for May, 2010

Call Off the Gentrification! Zombie are Coming to Brooklyn

Friday, May 28th, 2010

There aren’t many weekends that I look forward to as much as Memorial Day Weekend – hot dogs, cold beers, and hunting hipster zombies on the streets of Brooklyn.

They’ve been askin’ for it, with their skinny jeans and ironic facial hair. And now they’re undead and marching to McCarren Park on Sunday (probably smoking clove cigarettes as they tear other, less cool, Brooklynites to pieces).  My intern, Ben is loading the van as I type this (he will later be used as bait to woo attractive girl zombies sporting Betty bangs and tattoos of Mighty Mouse – if he doesn’t return with me both of us will be okay).  After we swing by the opening show of George Romero’s Survival of the Dead it’s off to the big city; first stop is a barbeque at my Aunt Juanita’s; then we go take care of some zombies; and finally… a Broadway show.

Yep, I love Memorial Day.

The 4th Annual NYC Zombie Crawl is This Sunday, May 30th: http://nyczombiecrawl.com/

Zombies-share-the-people

Actor Joe Pantoliano has Issues…

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

… And he’s working hard to make it okay to talk about them.

I was fortunate to have dinner with notable character actor Joe “Joey Pants” Pantoliano last night.  Usually this is not a site for celebrity interviews, so we’re not going to start today.  However, along with discussing the 25th anniversary of The Goonies, filming locations for The Fugitive, why he loves Providence, Rhode Island, and what kind of shoes he thought would look good on me, he brought up his foundation, No Kidding, Me Too!, which is trying to remove the stigma from brain dis-ease including bipolar disorder and depression.  He really just wants people to talk about in the same manner we would asthma or wearing glasses.  By demystifying it people can get the support they need.

Check out his recent article about No Kidding, Me Too! at the Huffington Post here and order his new NKM2 documentary on the topic here.

This guy has has such a storied career, but hasn’t been consumed by it.  He obviously loves acting, though he’s also genuinely committed to speaking to one person at a time about brain dis-ease.   Thanks Joey for the insight and inspiration! Hopefully we’ll see you around the dinner table and back at thedailyjim.com soon!

Post Cereal Wrestles with Outdated Themes and is Rocked by Hulk Hogan in the Process

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

Titan of my childhood, Hulk Hogan, is suing Post Cereal for unauthorized use of his likeness in a recent Coco Pebbles ad.   In it, a cartoon “Hulk Boulder” defeats Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble in a wrestling match only to be bested by Bam-Bam.  I guess my real question is: “Hulk Boulder” was the best the marketing department could come up with?

Growing up, my brother and I would play the “Flintstones Game.”  It’s when you take a celebrity’s name and turn it into their stone-age counterpart.  Hanna-Barbera were fond of Stony Curtis, Cary Granite, and Ann-Margrock.  In the ‘80’s we rocked Molly Rockwald and Erock E. Strata, Quarry Feldman, Marble J. Fox, and Sylvester Stonepile – all of this and we weren’t ten years old yet.   I credit my youthful  creativity to training, taking my vitamins, and saying my prayers the way any Hulkamaniac would (also we took plenty of steroids in 4th grade).

If only The Great Gazoo would travel back in time to convince the “pre-historic dum-dums” at Post that children most likely don’t know Hulk Hogan even wrestled.  Gazoo could have helped them side step this tar pit by forgetting creativity even exists in advertising and just ponying up the dough to have The Rock endorse Coco Pebbles.

See Hulk Boulder wrassle here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7S7KFKmYP4

Great Gazoo

You’ve got to give the People what they want. Today, they want a Naked Skeletor.

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010

We get a bit of weird stuff sent in to us at thedailyjim.com; some of it you’ve read, others you’ll never read (most of that material is addressed to my intern, Ben, and the federalies won’t let us post it). We also get art, photos, and links from pop culture devotees.  Today we take a moment to appreciate the strange love people have for their childhood distractions and how that manifests itself within seemingly functional adults.  Some of this is just flat out dorky, but … well ALL of it’s dorky, but you should still keep sending it in anyway (be sure to credit the artist or source).

A Team

“Mr. T. Party” by Ruel Pascual at  http://www.ruelpascual.com/

This is just an awesome indignity to the Team.  I like that Face is hiding.

GIJOE

“Cobra … the Enemy” by Dave Perillo     http://montygog.blogspot.com/

Dave Perillo is the illustrator of all things fanboy.

Wonder Woman in a Bar

“Wonder Woman in a Bar” by the staff at HUGE Inc. See more at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/7735829@N06/4057822567/

This we used in a spoken word “Flicktion” piece several months ago.  Wonder Woman’s not drunk, but she’s drinkin’.

Young Frankenstein

“Young Frankenstein” by Tricia Fox at  http://triciafox.com

This is just testimony as to how many people actually love the movie, Young Frankenstein, and how many of us saw when we were way too young to understand it. I’d like to see a Teri Garr bust (Whoa! Cue Benny Hill music.).

General Lee

“General Carbuncle” by James R. Ford at http://jamesrford.com

Since the artist is British, the ol’ General is actually a Ford Capri not a Dodge Charger.  It’s covered in over 4,000 Matchbox cars.  Notice the Confederate flag has been supplanted by the Union Jack.

Elvis Trooper

“Elvis Trooper” – Witness his adventures at http://elvistrooper.com

Okay.  Lots of people dig cosplay, but this guy lives the dream (if your dream is to live inside windowless convention centers with clammy fanboys).  He’s still pretty awesome.

Cosmo Skeletor

“Cosmo Skeletor” by Johnny Sampson at http://johnnysampson.com

Uhhh … yeah.

Australian Ninjas Save German Med Student from Thunderdome Scene

Monday, May 24th, 2010

It’s not hard to believe that in Australia, which was colonized by the Brits as a prison settlement, the greatest deterrent against crime is the unpredictibility of its citizens.  Three weeks ago we reported on an Aussie comic book shop owner who, dressed as Spider-Man, stopped a thief with the help of a few Jedi and, depending on who you ask, The Flash.  Friday The Sydney Morning Herald gave us a story about a mugging that was ceased by the intervention of ninjas.  Seriously.

A German medical student was pulled into an alley in Sydney, beaten, and robbed by, what I assume, was Bodhi and the boys from Point Break continuing to finance their endless summer after the Hundred Year Storm didn’t work out.  Unfortunately for these criminals, they chose an alley next to a school for … ninjas!  Seriously.

The dark warriors saved the German but let the thugs get away (they’re still in “ninja school,” after all).  Upon his retreat one of the robbers could be heard screaming irrelevant quotes from Crocodile Dundee.

This latest exploit adds to the growing evidence that Australia is more interesting that the rest of the world, despite being maligned by Lost fans.  I can’t wait until they finally get that Thunderdome up and running and re-claim Mel Gibson.  Seriously.

Until then Australians, keep kickin’ ass as weirdly as you possibly can!

ninja-kangaroos

Chris Sims from Comic Alliance has a pretty funny take on this too: http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/05/21/real-life-ninjas-rescue-australia/

Maybe we’re Misusing the Word “Superhero”

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

I’m the first guy to overuse a phrase – I use “dude” in every variation known to grammar.  But even I have to take pause at the misuse, and overuse, of the word “superhero.”  Not every action one takes make him a freakin’ “superhero.”  However, I am giving the guy who untangled the space shuttle this morning with his own two hands a pass (after all, he was floating in space).

I will not use this space to tout the noble spirit, fearless nature, or snappy outfits of the superheroic.  But I’m not going to use the word to sell you a cellphone either (Verizon, I’m looking in your general direction…).

Below are headlines plucked from these here internets this past week misappropriating “superhero” for the subject’s own ends.

Xylitol: a Superhero in Crusade Against Cavities

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2010/05/prweb4013494.htm

A sugar substitute designed to sweeten coffee CANNOT be a superhero.  Maybe if Captain Clean Mouth weaponized it to battle King Cavity I’d consider it super, but even then …

Winner of Tax Superhero Award Announced

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/fromthefield/218275/127435374369.htm

I am happy that the winner of this award is assuring that taxes are used for legitimate and helpful purposes.  I really am. But can’t they call it something else?  “Tax superhero” sounds like an ad for an accountant in April.

The Superhero is You

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robyn-o/the-superhero-is-you_b_576682.html

No it’s not. It’s most likely not you either.

Stuntman Superhero Enjoys the High Life..!

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/boltonnews/8168696.Stuntman_superhero_enjoys_the_high_life______/?ref=rss

This guy is a street performer.  Superheroes don’t work for tips.

Verizon Wireless and LG Mobile Phones Connect Customers to the Superhero Within

http://www.sys-con.com/node/1397730

C’mon?

Stark Industries Poised to Become Spacely Sprockets

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

stark logo

To: Tony Stark, CEO, Stark Industries

Date: May 19, 2010

Re: Adopting an Innovative and Aggressive Marketing Strategy

Tony,

As you’ve no doubt heard, President Obama dropped a bombshell on us today while visiting V & M Star, a steel pipe manufacturer, in Youngstown, Ohio.  President Obama confronted employees with,  “I saw the 85-ton electric arc furnace. I know you’re building Iron Man’s suits somewhere in here.”  Tony, even the President’s curious about the Iron Man technology.

While I understand you not wanting to turn over the Iron Man suit to the government because of your fear that it will be reverse engineered and weaponized. I even agree to a certain extent – you can’t put the genie back in the bottle once it’s out – but we’ve got to get these guys off our backs!  The boys in Marketing have come up with a “bread and circus” style campaign that will keep everyone distracted while increasing our revenues, therefore allowing you to fight evil on your own schedule.  Stark Industries is finally going to give the people what they want – technology from the Jetsons!  Good news is that it’s stuff you’ve already got laying around the mansion

THE OXFORD EDUCATED NANNY HOUSE: Research shows that people don’t mind a house that nags them in a British accent, as long as it brushes their teeth and dresses them for work.

MORE ROBOTS: Really good robots would be nice for once.  Personally, my Roomba keeps flipping over when it hits the corner of a rug.  Rosie the Maid is a great concept; we just slap a face on one of those are things you keep in your shop.

HUGE THINGS FOLDING INTO IMPOSSIBLY SMALL PACKAGES: We can single handedly wipe out the off-site storage unit industry!  Much like your travelling Iron Man suitcase, and George Jetson’s flying car briefcase, Americans want stuff that’s easily folded up.

FINALLY GIVE THE PEOPLE THAT JETPACK THEY”VE BEEN WAITING FOR: Using your repulsor technology we can easily manufacture cheap and functioning jetpacks for school-kids.  Adults would be double the size … which mean double the cost to the consumer!

Think about these concepts while you’re soaring above us protective democracy, damning the man, and making a tidy profit.  Martinis are on me the next time you’re in New Jersey stopping Mole Man from digging up the Path train, again.

Best,

Artie Pithins

Public Relations, Stark Industries

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

BETTER LIVING THROUGH THE WISDOM OF TELEVISION

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

“Rule number one: never hire friends.  I hired a friend once and you know what happened?  Worked out great.  But that’s me.  You couldn’t handle it.” – Lou Grant from The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

“Best way to keep a guy at least 10 feet away?  Dry heave.  Vomit is the new mace.” – Veronica Mars from Veronica Mars

Lessons in Bad Media Franchising and Merchandising

1) Saw 8: The Reality Television Gameshow 2)Live action movie of Hungry, Hungry Hippos 3)The Tonight Show, starring Chewbacca 4) Deadpool vs. Punisher: The Musical 5) The Human Centipede sleeping bag 6) C-Span Live Action Role Playing Group 7) The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre ride at Six Flags Over Texas 8) Your Parents Basement is Always […]

Where is Our Modern Barney Miller?

The single camera glory that was Barney Miller can probably never be reproduced.  There’s heavy debate in the office whether it should be or not. It was essentially a 22-minute, 3-act play with minimal characters and only one set (after Season One that also featured Barney’s dining room at home).  The thing is, the writing […]

Non-John Hughes High School Movies from the ’80s

Yep. Most of the high school biggies were our man, Hughes. But if you can name the 1980s high school movie quotes listed below, your might have been paying attention to something else in ’88 other than the MTV Beach House and that cute girl with freckles in your 11th grade Chemistry class. 5)”Last night, […]

Mark Your Calendar, Nerds!!!

This Weekend is legendary Indy 500.  Please don’t think geekdom is limited to cosplay and app programming.  Oh no, my friends. Two years ago our Mid-West correspondent, Billy D, and I watched those car dorks jump a humongous Hot Wheels truck  over a bunch of school busses and twice as many drunks while Florence Henderson […]

Archives by Month:

Archives by Subject:

Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…