The Geek Divide
“If I could Quantum Leap, you know, travel back within my own lifetime, I’d destroy Spider-Man.”
While drinking beers, my old college buddy, Chin Ho, sometimes has these enigmatic insights into the world around him; I find it’s best just to let him run with it instead of immediately calling him an “idiot.”
“I’m not sure that’s how it works? Did you grow up with Spider Man?”
“Of course I did! I’ve been going to the same comics store for almost thirty years … and let me tell you it’s not easy being geeky. Sometimes I think I should have participated more in Phys Ed. Get a little respect as a man; you know?”
“I don’t think Spidey’s your problem. Maybe it was the Care Bear you kept on your bed for the first year of college?”
“Funshine Bear was a gift from my high school girlfriend, Tiffany Popashot! What did you expect me to do with it?” I know he only got to first base with Tiffany, so he looks away, hoping I won’t bring it up. “Besides, Spider-Man ruined me well before that. As a kid, I kept waiting for a radioactive insect bite, so I’d be good at sports without having to play them. As you grow, that gap between cool kid and dork kid only grows wider and gets filled with, digital watches and X-Files marathons. You wake up and you’re dork adult who is now having Comic Con, nerd holy ground, taken away from him by the cool adults.”
“You have made some lifestyle choices, like learning how to speak elfin, that really tight Green Goblin t-shirt you’re wearing, and the ring-tone that sounds like a Star Trek phaser, but overall you’re pretty well adjusted. Maybe if you Quantum Leaped, instead of destroying my hero, Spider-Man, you could take yourself outside and play some soccer?”
He glanced down at his Skywalker edition Adidas sneakers, then took a long sip of his beer wrapped in a foam coolie with “Greedo Shot First” stenciled on the side. “Yeah, I’m not sure that’s how it works?”
“VARIANT COVER” – A comic book produced with different covers for the express purpose of having you, the comic fan boy, boy multiple copies of the same thing. Sometimes many covers will create a larger tapestry or work of art; others will be in 3-D; or have alternative concepts. We all love art or we [...]
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Yep. Most of the high school biggies were our man, Hughes. But if you can name the 1980s high school movie quotes listed below, your might have been paying attention to something else in ’88 other than the MTV Beach House and that cute girl with freckles in your 11th grade Chemistry class. 5)”Last night, [...]
This Weekend is legendary Indy 500. Please don’t think geekdom is limited to cosplay and app programming. Oh no, my friends. Two years ago our Mid-West correspondent, Billy D, and I watched those car dorks jump a humongous Hot Wheels truck over a bunch of school busses and twice as many drunks while Florence Henderson [...]
Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.
MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.
TUESDAY – Television. Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.
WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.
THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.
FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics. Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…