The Geek Divide

“If I could Quantum Leap, you know, travel back within my own lifetime, I’d destroy Spider-Man.”

While drinking beers, my old college buddy, Chin Ho, sometimes has these enigmatic insights into the world around him; I find it’s best just to let him run with it instead of immediately calling him an “idiot.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works?  Did you grow up with Spider Man?”

“Of course I did!  I’ve been going to the same comics store for almost thirty years … and let me tell you it’s not easy being geeky.  Sometimes I think I should have participated more in Phys Ed.  Get a little respect as a man; you know?”

“I don’t think Spidey’s your problem.  Maybe it was the Care Bear you kept on your bed for the first year of college?”

“Funshine Bear was a gift from my high school girlfriend, Tiffany Popashot!  What did you expect me to do with it?”  I know he only got to first base with Tiffany, so he looks away, hoping I won’t bring it up.  “Besides, Spider-Man ruined me well before that.  As a kid, I kept waiting for a radioactive insect bite, so I’d be good at sports without having to play them.  As you grow, that gap between cool kid and dork kid only grows wider and gets filled with, digital watches and X-Files marathons.  You wake up and you’re dork adult who is now having Comic Con, nerd holy ground, taken away from him by the cool adults.”

“You have made some lifestyle choices, like learning how to speak elfin, that really tight Green Goblin t-shirt you’re wearing, and the ring-tone that sounds like a Star Trek phaser, but overall you’re pretty well adjusted.  Maybe if you Quantum Leaped, instead of destroying my hero, Spider-Man, you could take yourself outside and play some soccer?”

He glanced down at his Skywalker edition Adidas sneakers, then took a long sip of his beer wrapped in a foam coolie with “Greedo Shot First” stenciled on the side. “Yeah, I’m not sure that’s how it works?”

This entry was posted on Friday, April 23rd, 2010 at 2:19 pm.
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My So-Called Zombie Life

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• Question from Megan currently trapped inside the Old Navy in Forest Springs Mall, NJ

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• Question from Candice, hiding upstairs in your house

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• Question from Professor Janice Warburton at Reanimation Laboratories, Gillette, Louisiana

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• Question from Brian seat-belted in the back of a burned out school bus, OH

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• Question from Colonel Samuel Doyle, stationed where Denver used to be

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• Question from Karl, lurking somewhere in the woods

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• Question from “Anonymous,” drinking the last 7-11 Slurpees on freaking Earth in Pawtucket, RI

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Staff writers for thedailyjim can be contacted regarding freelance assignments, project consultations, and ego boosts. Your hair looks great, by the way. All content on this page is creator owned unless otherwise noted.

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