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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Lex Luthor Needs to Stay Out of Idaville

Growing up the two guys who had the last word on brainpower were Encyclopedia Brown and Lex Luthor.  Whatever side of the law on which you eventually fell, these were the thinkers who inspired you to get there.  Now, in retrospect, Encyclopedia’s continual adversary, Bugs Meany, wasn’t exactly a criminal mastermind.  He could never get out of his own way; and if you couldn’t successfully perpetrate a crime in Idaville, you deserved to get caught … the freakin’ police chief took investigative advice from his eleven year old son.  Bugs should have never gotten into crime; he never showed the aptitude for it.  He’s going to grow up to make someone a wonderful cellmate one day.  Encyclopedia however, despite the level of competition, was sharp, like a fourth grade Columbo rockin’ a v-neck sweater, he could read a room and ask suspects the tough questions without tipping his hand … very smooth.

Lex Luthor on the other hand, while a super-genius, in the old days was about as subtle as the subtext of Avatar (We’ve got it!  We’re destroying the Earth for profit and there will be consequences!).  Granted, Lex got stuck with the last guy you want as your nemesis.  It’s tough to beat someone who’s essentially perfect.  That had to be pretty frustrating.  But he would do stuff like publically announce that he was going to destroy Superman.  Superman took that kind of stuff seriously back then. But he wouldn’t admit defeat.  Lex could have moved to another city with a lesser superhero.  Perhaps by building a giant robot with a glue gun, for example, he could have confounded the Flash.  Hell, if he painted the thing yellow, he’d have defeated Green Lantern at the cost of one trip to Home Depot.  He knew he was smarter than Superman, but it took him a long while to change tactics.

It wasn’t until ol’ Lex got himself elected President of these United States that his genius really took stride.  He worked public opinion, made Supes and enemy of the state … that’s the kind of curveball Bugs Meany couldn’t pitch.  He made himself the good guy and Superman the villain.  He got foiled in the end, but the brainpower to come up with that one is tremendous.  I’d like to see him and Idaville’s boy detective go head to head at some point.  Maybe Lex could steal Sally Kimball’s chocolate milk in an exhibition match or some such thing.

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Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…