Get updates by email:

The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Friday, June 23, 2017

Cobra Commander’s Fashion Impact on this Winter’s Olympic Games

I have oft made it clear that I am no fan of Cobra Commander or his shoddy attempts at world domination.  With that being said, I have always been curious however, about how his iconic mirror-ball battle helmet doesn’t get fogged up while he’s working.  I can’t even see out of my swim goggles after about six seconds.  Turns out I’m not the only one thinking about this stuff as evidenced on the “world’s greatest stage,” this year’s Vancouver Winter Olympics.  All one hundred and ten Luge athletes are fitted in the full-face, fogless fashion of that fanged felon. He and his minions have always been fashion forward, but is his influence now reaching beyond the underworld and onto the runways?

There is a long tradition of shock and awe when intimidating your enemy.  Blackbeard, the pirate, used to twist lit cannon fuses into his beard just before boarding an enemy ship.  This would give the appearance that he was a demon, come to drag those who resisted to Hell.  The Scot, William Wallace, wore a belt made from an enemy sergeant as a grim message to the British.  In this regard, Cobra Commander is no different.  Like them, he was controversial from his earliest days, when he wore a cowl that was ironically remnisant of both a KKK hood and Dumb Donald from Fat Albert. It provided easy access for a quick lunch during a bank robbery, but it was too hokey and derivative to inspire true menace.

It wasn’t until he got the helmet, that people started to recognize him as a dashing evildoer, angry at the world.  He could stitch a fallen hem and bedazzle a bulletproof vest on a budget.  The snake looked so put together that it didn’t matter that he was an idiot, as long as he could get you into the hippest secret lairs.  Other chic villains began coming around, and before you could say, “Yo Joe,” he had the trendiest army in terror.  Destro’s humungous ‘70’s porn-star medallion necklace complete with S and M helmet, Zartan’s basketball court style washcloth headwear, even the Baroness’s full body cat-suit were all designed to impress the Commander. I’ll hand it to the guy; he understands flair when he sees it.  So I guess it’s no surprise that Adidas and Reebok are emulating his style.  Fortunately for us, what that dopey fashionista doesn’t realize is that looking good is only “half the battle.”

6 responses to “Cobra Commander’s Fashion Impact on this Winter’s Olympic Games”

  1. himjill666 says:

    CC is a regular guy as we learned from the comics, just a absentee father trying to impress his teen son. His style is so fresh, I actually went as him this past halloween. Big bellied I may be, I pulled it off with the mask (and yes it fogged up) cause it scarred the hell out of the neighborhood kids who did not know who he is. Ahhhh, generations.

  2. himjill666 says:

    CC is a regular guy as we learned from the comics, just a absentee father trying to impress his teen son. His style is so fresh, I actually went as him this past halloween. Big bellied I may be, I pulled it off with the mask (and yes it fogged up) cause it scarred the hell out of the neighborhood kids who did not know who he is. Ahhhh, generations.

  3. Anonymous says:

    CC is a regular guy as we learned from the comics, just a absentee father trying to impress his teen son. His style is so fresh, I actually went as him this past halloween. Big bellied I may be, I pulled it off with the mask (and yes it fogged up) cause it scarred the hell out of the neighborhood kids who did not know who he is. Ahhhh, generations.

  4. jimpierce says:

    Thanks Anne. I think Well Done is an entertaining blog too. I’m making your Lime Mousse this weekend. Thanks for the add!

  5. Itchy says:

    The kids are convinced those lugers are holding their breath all the way down. I can’t convince them anyone can breathe in those things!

  6. Anne says:

    Thanks for this great post. I was blogging today about Olympic Fashion and a commenter posted a link to this post and I had to put a link to it. I just love the connection you are making here, I added to my blog with some pics showing the comparisons.. it makes me smile, thanks. I added links back here, I hope it’s ok with you. So glad I found your blog today!

Geek Definition of the Day

“VARIANT COVER” – A comic book produced with different covers for the express purpose of having you, the comic fan boy, boy multiple copies of the same thing.  Sometimes many covers will create a larger tapestry or work of art; others will be in 3-D; or have alternative concepts. We all love art or we […]

Lessons in Bad Media Franchising and Merchandising

1) Saw 8: The Reality Television Gameshow 2)Live action movie of Hungry, Hungry Hippos 3)The Tonight Show, starring Chewbacca 4) Deadpool vs. Punisher: The Musical 5) The Human Centipede sleeping bag 6) C-Span Live Action Role Playing Group 7) The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre ride at Six Flags Over Texas 8) Your Parents Basement is Always […]

Where is Our Modern Barney Miller?

The single camera glory that was Barney Miller can probably never be reproduced.  There’s heavy debate in the office whether it should be or not. It was essentially a 22-minute, 3-act play with minimal characters and only one set (after Season One that also featured Barney’s dining room at home).  The thing is, the writing […]

Non-John Hughes High School Movies from the ’80s

Yep. Most of the high school biggies were our man, Hughes. But if you can name the 1980s high school movie quotes listed below, your might have been paying attention to something else in ’88 other than the MTV Beach House and that cute girl with freckles in your 11th grade Chemistry class. 5)”Last night, […]

Mark Your Calendar, Nerds!!!

This Weekend is legendary Indy 500.  Please don’t think geekdom is limited to cosplay and app programming.  Oh no, my friends. Two years ago our Mid-West correspondent, Billy D, and I watched those car dorks jump a humongous Hot Wheels truck  over a bunch of school busses and twice as many drunks while Florence Henderson […]

Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…