Question from Karl, lurking somewhere in the woods

“Hoo? Glurgggg? Hooooooooooo? Hoo?

What about animal zombies, you ask? I can’t tell you how many times newbies ask me this one. My advice is always the same, if you can actually catch an animal and bite it while resisting the urge to eat the whole thing, more power to you. Wildlife is both tasty and extremely quick. If you’re really interested and you have the time, try looking for a diseased or wounded animal that you can bite, they’re slow moving, you won’t get any sicker, and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the results.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 at 3:27 pm.
File under zombies. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Facebook comments:

blog comments powered by Disqus

This is Why Television Doesn’t Have a Guidance Department

To commemorate the beginning of the school year, we at thedailyjim.com have looked into our collective past to see how lack of education hasn’t affected some of our favorite television characters one bit.
Charles “Pa” Ingalls had little formal education, but he sure could play that fiddle. In fact less classroom time meant he could learn [...]

I Learned Spanish Just to try to Understand Mexican TV

There has been talk for years about the escalating craziness of Japanese television. People get injured on a regular basis, there are a ton of zany costumes, everything happens at lightning pace, and anyone who knows what’s going on can’t stop laughing long enough to explain it to the viewer. All valid statements. Now add [...]

Demon Dogs! Thundarr the Barbarian Fights for Respect Among Geeks

I am a geek. You, our one fan, are a geek. Wear that badge boldly in this Golden Age of Dorkiness! That being said – and with all respect, some people geek out on stuff I forgot even existed!
What do you get when you simmer a stew out of pop culture ingredients like Dungeons & [...]

Where’s Lex Luthor When We Need Him?

Frequent thedailyjim.com contributor, Billy D. called late-night, as he sometimes does. “Duke (I have no idea why he calls me that, but he always does.)! Duke, we’ve got a supervillain problem. Do you think that cat lady thief in New York City and that dude who dresses as Darth Vader to rob banks have the [...]

From Flintstones to Fight Club: Versions of the Men’s Social Club

As evidenced by The Flintstones, guys have always needed a place to get away from the pressures of work and family, to drink a big mug of cactus juice, play a little rocknasta with Sam Slagheap and the boys while plotting the demise of their mothers-in-law. Fred and Barney favored the Loyal Order of Water [...]

Dailies

“My lack of education didn’t hurt me none, ’cause I can read the writing on the wall” – Paul Simon ‘Kodachrome’

Gentleman Jim

WISE WORDS FROM MOVIES ON THE VALUE OF EDUCATION
“Things sure have changed since we got kicked out of high school.” – Johnny Ramone from ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll High School’
“I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy.” – Charles De Mar from ‘Better Off Dead’
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” – Dean Vernon Wormer from ‘Animal House’
“Saturday, March 24,1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did ‘was’ wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who [...]

My So-Called Zombie Life

I wrote this Q & A for the November 2009 issue of Geek Monthly, where it was published in a slightly different format as “Ask a Zombie.”

When I was alive I’d fight a zombie, but never wonder, “How’s this guy spending the rest of his time?” Die and learn I guess. I will now attempt to answer just a few questions that I’d wish someone had taken the time from stalking and eating to answer for me when I was first [...]

Question from Megan currently trapped inside the Old Navy in Forest Springs Mall, NJ

“Why do the undead always look like they’re falling apart? It’s really gross!”
You’re referring to “body rot,” Megan. As unsightly as it may be, zombies are literally falling apart due to decay. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be tidy. I mean, I know guys with bugs crawling on them who are just plain dirty. [...]

Question from Candice, hiding upstairs in your house

“Sssssssssseeeeeeeth?”
I know you’re hungry, but try to control your appetite. There will always be dopes in the world; they’ll practically wander right up to you. I say, stick to gnawing on them, there is no shame in eating the slow or dim witted. The smart ones run really fast! And good for them! If you [...]

Question from Professor Janice Warburton at Reanimation Laboratories, Gillette, Louisiana

“Do zombies eat human brains exclusively?”
Fact: Zombies eat whatever we can get our rotting hands on, brains, legs, intestine… I personally, enjoy throats and arms (man that’s just plain good eatin’). I don’t know how this brain thing got started; there are worse misconceptions out there though, so this one is low priority.

Question from Brian seat-belted in the back of a burned out school bus, OH

“Grrrrrrrrrrawwwww! Mmmmmmmaaa?”
Brian, Don’t bother trying to speak to the living. They don’t get it! In fact, they won’t get it until some drooling sap takes a bite out of them. Generally they’re too busy screaming, running the other way, or spouting tough guy sound bites to listen to your rational. I have never gotten past [...]

Question from Colonel Samuel Doyle, stationed where Denver used to be

“How do I know if I’m dealing with a slow zombie or a fast zombie before I get too close?”

Me? I’m a throw back; I walk everywhere. I mean, I’m already undead, what’s the hurry? Some of these young guys like to run, mostly because it surprises the hell out of the living. However, [...]