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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Question from Brian seat-belted in the back of a burned out school bus, OH

“Grrrrrrrrrrawwwww! Mmmmmmmaaa?”

Brian, Don’t bother trying to speak to the living.  They don’t get it!  In fact, they won’t get it until some drooling sap takes a bite out of them.  Generally they’re too busy screaming, running the other way, or spouting tough guy sound bites to listen to your rational. I have never gotten past clearing my throat, which takes a surprisingly long time these days. You will be able to talk with, and understand, other zombies, but, as in life, it seems the guys who are the least intriguing are the guys who won’t shut up, so it’s all, “Mmm, I’m gonna bite that blonde, even though I just polished off a couple of soldiers so I’m not really that hungry. Mmmm,” or “look at this leg, sure I’ve been dragging it in the dirt and it’s completely unappetizing, but I’m gonna wave it around like a lunatic.”  Please don’t misunderstand me; most of the undead are good people, who just want a hot meal and a little rest.  But a few of these guys are just jerks; and who do you think the media is going to focus on?

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