H-1-N-YUM!

There is something intrinsically encouraging about breakfast.  Perhaps that’s why they have dubbed it “The Most Important Meal of the Day.” Laugh if you want, but I take that kind of title seriously; somebody went through the trouble to think that up!  Picture this, after a late night, you wake, maybe even before noon (I’m not here to judge), to find that you’re still breathing and therefore must follow through with events for which the dead don’t have time.  What’s the first thing you do?  Eat!  Why?  Because your body is trying to play catch up; and breakfast is a time when you can declare, “I know it’s afternoon, damn it!  But I want an omelet and enough bacon to put me back to sleep.”  And that’s your right; this is still America, after all.

Personally, I find breakfast meats the most inspiring.  During lunch and dinner, pork has been relegated to the back seat to make room for the more celebrated meats like beef, chicken and fish, but breakfast’s meat needs rest solely in the able hooves of our pal the pig.  Perhaps its because I was unpopular in high school and want to see the underdog get his day in the sun, or maybe I just like bacon and sausage.  Regardless, after a solid serving of AM swine I feel emotionally and creatively energized.  Waffles and pancakes are little more than desert fare, but add a slab of Canadian bacon or a few links and you are about to begin your day with a substantial repast.

Think about it.  Breakfast is so vital that many independently owned diners and restaurants encourage it by serving it “anytime.”  I’m no economist, but that seems just like good business practice.   The significance of breakfast has not been lost on the fast food industry either.  Conversely, they stop serving it at 11am to promote a meal more convenient to eat while driving.  McDonald’s and its ilk have manipulated breakfast into their own convenient vision.  Therefore defeating the entire purpose.  Breakfast isn’t about convenience or speed; it’s about taking time out and getting a grip on what the Hell is going to occur before your next breakfast.

Brothers and sisters, I know you’re late for work.  So am I.   But it’s time we rise up (at whatever time you like) and shout, “I will not take ‘The Most Important Meal of the Day’ for granted! However, I will take an extra side of sausage and a refill on my coffee. Thanks.”

This entry was posted on Monday, December 28th, 2009 at 12:56 pm.
File under general. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

Comments Closed

Comments are closed.

My So-Called Zombie Life

• I wrote this Q & A for the November 2009 issue of Geek Monthly, where it was published in a slightly different format as “Ask a Zombie.”

  
  
  

• When I was alive I’d fight a zombie, but never wonder, “How’s this guy spending the rest of his time?” Die and learn I guess.  I will now attempt to answer just a few questions that I’d wish someone had taken the time from stalking and eating to answer for me when I was first [...]

  
  
  

• Question from Megan currently trapped inside the Old Navy in Forest Springs Mall, NJ

  “Why do the undead always look like they’re falling apart?  It’s really gross!” You’re referring to “body rot,” Megan.  As unsightly as it may be, zombies are literally falling apart due to decay. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be tidy.  I mean, I know guys with bugs crawling on them who are just plain [...]

  
  
  

• Question from Candice, hiding upstairs in your house

  “Sssssssssseeeeeeeth?” I know you’re hungry, but try to control your appetite.  There will always be dopes in the world; they’ll practically wander right up to you. I say, stick to gnawing on them, there is no shame in eating the slow or dim witted. The smart ones run really fast!  And good for them! If [...]

  
  
  

• Question from Professor Janice Warburton at Reanimation Laboratories, Gillette, Louisiana

  “Do zombies eat human brains exclusively?” Fact: Zombies eat whatever we can get our rotting hands on, brains, legs, intestine… I personally, enjoy throats and arms (man that’s just plain good eatin’).  I don’t know how this brain thing got started; there are worse misconceptions out there though, so this one is low priority.

  
  
  

• Question from Brian seat-belted in the back of a burned out school bus, OH

  “Grrrrrrrrrrawwwww! Mmmmmmmaaa?” Brian, Don’t bother trying to speak to the living.  They don’t get it!  In fact, they won’t get it until some drooling sap takes a bite out of them.  Generally they’re too busy screaming, running the other way, or spouting tough guy sound bites to listen to your rational. I have never gotten [...]

  
  
  

• Question from Colonel Samuel Doyle, stationed where Denver used to be

  “How do I know if I’m dealing with a slow zombie or a fast zombie before I get too close?” Me? I’m a throw back; I walk everywhere.  I mean, I’m already undead, what’s the hurry?  Some of these young guys like to run, mostly because it surprises the hell out of the living.  However, [...]

  
  
  

• Question from Karl, lurking somewhere in the woods

  “Hoo? Glurgggg?  Hooooooooooo?  Hoo? What about animal zombies, you ask?  I can’t tell you how many times newbies ask me this one.  My advice is always the same, if you can actually catch an animal and bite it while resisting the urge to eat the whole thing, more power to you.  Wildlife is both tasty [...]

  
  
  

• Question from “Anonymous,” drinking the last 7-11 Slurpees on freaking Earth in Pawtucket, RI

  “I heard that the government is working on a cure with some big drug companies.  I really hate freakin’ zombies… I wish you’d all die!” Great.  Thanks.  You don’t really get how this works do you?  I know where that 7-11 is by the way.  For the record, there is no cure for zombism.  A [...]

  
  
  

About the Daily Jim

Staff writers for thedailyjim can be contacted regarding freelance assignments, project consultations, and ego boosts. Your hair looks great, by the way. All content on this page is creator owned unless otherwise noted.

• Facebook
• Flickr
• Last.fm
• RSS
• Twitter