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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Friday, June 23, 2017

H-1-N-YUM!

There is something intrinsically encouraging about breakfast.  Perhaps that’s why they have dubbed it “The Most Important Meal of the Day.” Laugh if you want, but I take that kind of title seriously; somebody went through the trouble to think that up!  Picture this, after a late night, you wake, maybe even before noon (I’m not here to judge), to find that you’re still breathing and therefore must follow through with events for which the dead don’t have time.  What’s the first thing you do?  Eat!  Why?  Because your body is trying to play catch up; and breakfast is a time when you can declare, “I know it’s afternoon, damn it!  But I want an omelet and enough bacon to put me back to sleep.”  And that’s your right; this is still America, after all.

Personally, I find breakfast meats the most inspiring.  During lunch and dinner, pork has been relegated to the back seat to make room for the more celebrated meats like beef, chicken and fish, but breakfast’s meat needs rest solely in the able hooves of our pal the pig.  Perhaps its because I was unpopular in high school and want to see the underdog get his day in the sun, or maybe I just like bacon and sausage.  Regardless, after a solid serving of AM swine I feel emotionally and creatively energized.  Waffles and pancakes are little more than desert fare, but add a slab of Canadian bacon or a few links and you are about to begin your day with a substantial repast.

Think about it.  Breakfast is so vital that many independently owned diners and restaurants encourage it by serving it “anytime.”  I’m no economist, but that seems just like good business practice.   The significance of breakfast has not been lost on the fast food industry either.  Conversely, they stop serving it at 11am to promote a meal more convenient to eat while driving.  McDonald’s and its ilk have manipulated breakfast into their own convenient vision.  Therefore defeating the entire purpose.  Breakfast isn’t about convenience or speed; it’s about taking time out and getting a grip on what the Hell is going to occur before your next breakfast.

Brothers and sisters, I know you’re late for work.  So am I.   But it’s time we rise up (at whatever time you like) and shout, “I will not take ‘The Most Important Meal of the Day’ for granted! However, I will take an extra side of sausage and a refill on my coffee. Thanks.”

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Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…