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The Daily Jim

All the wit that's fit to spit

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Into the Wild

So, I’m watching two douche bags wearing rhinestoned, Ed Hardy t-shirts beat the Hell out of each other on a Wednesday afternoon …  I’ve been back on Long Island for six hours.

In high school I had a science teacher who used to tell us that, “Nature puts on the best shows in the universe, if you know where to look.”   She was right.  When on Long Island, I find that the best place to witness local nature perform is anywhere I hear the phrase “Strong Island” being used.  Visual cues include, but are certainly not limited to, men with fancy eyebrows and the fashion stylings of Don Ed Hardy.  I rarely have to wait long; but if you’re choosing to endeavor on a safari of this type for the first time please remember my guiding principle, “Do not interfere with nature in progress.”  I’m not saying if a dimwitted gazelle wanders into a herd of elephants, I’m going to let her get trampled.  But if two idiots from the same herd want to go head to head to over whose sunglasses have the lightest tint or who has the sickest rims on their leased Expedition, I say enjoy the majesty of nature.

Merry Christmas.

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Dailies

Attention lonely geeks! “Drunk” is only a superpower at Red Sox games and ex-girlfriends’ weddings.

Gentleman Jim

  • MONDAY – Movies. Their glory and their hilarious tragedy.  

  • TUESDAY – Television.  Our favorite drug; constant and comforting, but often packaged with regret.  

  • WEDNESDAY – Wildcards! Probably a piece of weird fiction in which Spider-Man has to talk down Laura Ingles from making a bad decision.  

  • THURSDAY – Thesis-level Dorkdom. Jargon, geek terms and weird insight explained for the rest of us.  

  • FRIDAY – Fantasy, Sci-fi, and comics.  Like living in your parents’ basement only without the inherent desperation. Well…